Hala Pickford Turns 25 Today

Valentino Wept: Hala Pickford Turns 25 Today: It's no secret that I continue to legally work towards Hala Pickford being held accountable for what she's said, for what she's done, t...
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Hala Pickford turned 25 on May 21st, and on behalf of her fans (both of them) I would like to extend my warm wishes for a belated Happy Birthday--just hope our girl didn't overdo it on the pies.

It's noted that Hala (Katie Lynn Birchard) shares her birthday with Fats Waller and Judge Reinhold.

Her two fave words.....Fats and Judge.

But never mind the detractors, honey. Momma & Pops may not love you, the gays loathe you (well, so does everyone else but that's another story), but Rudy is smiling down on you and sent you a special message from heaven.

"Dearest Hala...when I turned 25 I was about to make The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and now that you've reached your quarter-century I reckon those riders are gonna sweep down on Burbank and cart you off to your local version of The Tombs or Alcatraz. But don't worry, cara mia, your Rudy's gonna be watching over you, and while you're away Lydia The Tattooed Lady's gonna be taking care of me. Just hope she keeps that sack over her head and doesn't write another goddam book. I threw the last one at the Leaning Tower of Pisa and it fell down!"

And don't you go worrying your little Medusa-permed head about your 'publishing company' while you're confined to the pound, Huey baby. In ten years from now it'll still be shifting as many books as it's shifting now--unless someone buys another one!

David Bret's Blog: The Bay Reporter: Bret On Rudolph Valentino

David Bret's Blog: The Bay Reporter: Bret On Rudolph Valentino: I published Valentino: A Dream of Desire in 1998. The actress Moira Shearer didn't dislike the book, but she certainly hated Valentino an...

Oh dear, Hala & Evie will scratch themselves sore at this!
This book has now been selling well for FOURTEEN years!
That's one year for each day that ZumZum's homophobe-fest "Affairs Valentino" was on the shelves before being assigned to oblivion!

Will Hala Pickford Have Kittens Over Namesake Film?

One imagines these tidings will have hit Hala Pickford (Katie Lynn Birchard) with all the voracity of news that the workers at her favourite pie factory have gone on strike. Mary Pickford is her alter-ego, that's when she's not being invisibly humped by Rudolph Valentino. Therefore imagine Baby Huey's distress that someone is making a film not based on one of her banned, overpriced books.  And imagine what hatred Lily Rabe may have heading her way from this deranged Iowa hick. Who can ever forget The Fat One's attacks on that cute Russian actor, Vlad, and the poison she spewed forth about "The Artist". I can see it now, that 230-pound frame wracked with sobs, and this terrible news coming almost on the eve of Hala trying to save the Pickfair Studios, and being once again summoned to court on charges of contempt. Where is Evelyn Zumaya when her 'poor sick child' needs her? Could it be that those acid tears will wash the ink of Evie's tattoos? And just imagine how these two homophobes are going to feel if they find out that there's also a new Valentino film in the pipeline.

Oops!

Lily Rabe to Play Mary Pickford in Untitled Biopic; Producers In Cannes to Cast Chaplin, Fairbanks, Griffith

News by Sophia Savage | May 17, 2012 4:01 PM
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Lily RabeWhile producers Julie Pacino, Jennifer DeLia, and Said Zahraoui are at Cannes to cement the rest of the casting for their untitled Mary Pickford film, they've found their leading lady in Lily Rabe (All Good Things,American Horror Storyand Merchant of Venice" on Broadway). The Poverty Row Entertainment film is based on Eileen Whifield's biography, "Pickford: The Woman Who Made Hollywood." Josh Fagin is adapting the screenplay.

The project is targeting an early 2013 shoot and will be the first feature film to explore Pickford's life and work, and looks to cast "new light on one of the most influential and least understood artists in the history of popular culture." The influential characters in Pickford's life that are yet to be cast are listed below, along with the synopsis.

- Charlie Chaplin “ fellow actor/movie star; co-founder of United Artists; Douglas Fairbanks best friend
- Douglas Fairbanks “ fellow actor/movie star and co-founder of UA; Mary's second husband and true love
- Charlotte Hennessy “ Mary Pickford's mother and manager, who lived with her even as an adult
- Frances Marion “ journalist, author, and screenwriter; Pickford's best friend and collaborator
- D.W. Griffith “ Mary's first movie director, co-founder of UA

THE UNTITLED PICKFORD FILM will delve into Pickford's life from a woman's point of view and will illuminate the artistry, spirituality, and integrity that moved Mary Pickford through the ground-breaking and controversial world of her time. From 1892 through to her passing in 1979, Pickford was the powerhouse who, along with Douglas Fairbanks, Charlie Chaplin and D. W. Griffith, created their own distribution company, United Artists, that was designed to serve the filmmakers rather than the studio heads. Known as America's Sweetheart,˜Little Mary,and The Girl with the Curls, the Canadian-born Pickford was one of silent film's most important performers and had international fame that reached heights never seen before, as for the first time, an idol emerged from moving images or cinema.She was the biggest and most beloved movie star of the time; she was the face of the American Military; she was one of the 36 co-founders of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences; and she was an activist. She fulfilled missions that no one else in her time could have and no one since her could even imagine.

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Will Hala Self-Combust After Reading This Review?

Poor Hala aka Katie Lynn Birchard. Next months Miss Flabby Juggs faces her Armageddon at the Burbank Court House--that's if she doesn't do another runner.

Baby Huey has even failed at being a failure--so ashamed of belonging to the female of the species that she transformed herself into "Pickydarling", a gay man who likes neither gays nor women, nor the rest of humanity for that matter. Okay, so she was just being Hala, then! Then she dug herself up and became Mary Pickford, fighting desperately to save "her" studio, and failing to schlepp up at crucial meetings. Well, if she can't turn up for the judge, she's hardly likely to turn up when they demolish an old building--sad, for it would have been nice to have her standing inside it, sheering up the pillars like some modern day Samsonella, when the walls came a-tumbling down.

And now, Hala, who likes writing "reviews" slagging off other Valentino authors under a myriad of aliases, will be straight on the blower to withered homophobe crone Evie Zumaya, and those tattooed talons will start writing again. Wonder which name she'll use next time--for a book which was published fifteen years ago, making any reviews, good or bad, surplus to requirement where sales are concerned--though thanks to Huey and Screwy, there are always going to be reprints.

And what of "Affairs Valentino", THE book about Valentino's life which lingered less than one of Nita Naldi's farts before disappearing off the face of the earth? Will Zumaya effect the rewrite she's been promising, a 1,452-page super-homophobic tome which will set you back the same as you might pay for a haywain in Iowa, and maybe a spot of nufty with Kevin The Man?

Only time will tell! Meanwhile, Hala-Katie-Huey, check out the review below, you vile homophobe you!

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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!, May 7, 2012 By Kenny Covington (Spartanburg, SC USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME) This review is from: Valentino: A Dream of Desire (Hardcover) Well researched and thoughtfully written...this book has been unfairly trashed because very narrow minds want to write their own history...so what if Valentino was gay? He was so much more than his sexuality. Help other customers find the most

Here's proof that the sheriff WAS looking for Hala Pickford (Katie Lynn Birchard) at the Pickfair rally last Sunday--unaware that, to evade being arrested, she had absconded to her mother's place in Utah.

Oh, and by the way "Pickydarling" aka Hala The Homophobe--who incidentally has today changed all her "Pickydarling" headings to "Guest". I think you need the "wax treatment". If you put your prolapse on the table, someone will hit it with a hammer and all the wax will shoot out of your ears and clear what little brain you may have. Why do you bother posting 8,000-word rants and these blog entries to your newfound loony friends when they ALL come here every day to read what I write about you--and them!
And please don't make "anonymous" appearances pretending to be a friend of yourself, then making claims that Hala is living with neither of her parents, but with "you". We know exactly where she is, and YOU know that you cannot hide for ever!

Hala Pickford Flees California To Evade Arrest

Here's a slimmed-down Hala Pickford (Katie Lynn Birchard) wearing her latest honolulu-hugging "Save Pickfair Studios" outfit. You needn't ask what the "F" stands for--it's one of the few words she can spell.

The woman who looks like all three Peters Sisters rolled into one flabby lump has been boasting that she attended the council meeting last week with the gal with the Olive Oyl legs and Ozzie Osbourne tattoos--our very own Evie Zumaya.

WRONG!!!!!

So, what happened? Did someone dangle a bottle of listerine and a bar of vagina cleanse on the end of a stick, forcing Nelly The Elephant to make a hasty exit, taking the doors with her and wiping out half the population with her halitosic screeching?

Did Evie do a runner because someone  mistook their Liz Taylor "White Diamonds" for embalming fluid?

No, sirree. Hala-Pickydarling-Katie lied. Well, when did he-she ever tell the truth?

First, Pickydarling--that's Hala the homophobe pretending to ge a gay man--said that Hala was no longer in California. Then Hala said that she was, organising a protest to save the building named in honour of her namesake. No, not Baby Huey's Latrine--the Pickfair Studios. Well, several of us attended both events, and no a sign of Hala--and believe me, those 230 pounds of blubber would be hard to miss. When asked where she was, one young lady observed, "That one's reputation walks with a serious limp in these parts. She wouldn't have been made welcome!"

So, where has Hala gone? When questioned, several members of the 30-strong protest (not 60, as Hala also boasted) suggested that she had gone to live with her father in Ohio--he's the one who's been sending her money since her grandmother, Edith, injured herself and had to stop working. Another suggestion was that she was in Utah--while another wag observed, "Maybe Hala's in both states at the same time--her ass is so fat, it has its own zipcode!"

So, we checked. Lo and behold, Hala is staying with her mother in Utah--the one who disowned her years ago--and things apparently are not going too well. She has no money, no friends, no jobs, and is driving everyone nuts because she won't stop talking about silent movies, and of course us--us being an increasingly large group of individuals who despise liars, homophobes, thieves, racists, foul-mouths, anti-Semites and purveyors of every other prejudice walled up inside this mountain of unwashed, fetid flesh.

So, when Mama Birchard's had enough, Hala will be back--and if they haven't already done so, the cops will nab her--and so will the neo-Sumo wrestler ladies of whichever penitentiary she ends up in. 

SAVE THE PICKFAIR STUDIOS: Hala Pickford Takes A Turn For The Worse

Hala Pickford (Katie Lynn Birchard) posts TWENTY of these blog entries, along with ALL of Tracy Terhune's posts from his very fine http://www.valentinowept.blogspot.com on a TINY forum which contains just seven regular posters--three of these the same person. Yesterday, two posts alone of 8,000 words. She, who HATES gays, posts as "gay man" Pickydarling, who claims to be her friend. NO gay man would venture within a mile of this homophobic witch, of course.

Halahueypickychops--why bother posting information which you persistently denounce as "crap"? If what I write is so bad, so untruthful, why go to the trouble of repeating it--especially when Tracy's and my posts only succeed in making YOU look bad? All it does is prove that you have way too much time on your hands, and this is why you will NEVER achieve anything in your own life. You are too busy hating others to have any life of your own. This is why your parents, your two younger sisters, and your grandmother--the last person to stand by you and give you money for your dippy, futile, hate-filled schemes--have ALL deserted you. This is why you have NEVER had a job, NEVER had a boyfriend (save for a man who died almost 90 years ago), NEVER had any money, NEVER done a thing in your miserable life which hasn't seen you falling flat on your 230-pound tush, and NEVER had any self respect.

Also, the fruitloops you have fallen in with (one a kiddie fiddler, the other a Scottish housewife with very serious social problems)--they all read THIS blog anyhow, you barking, pudding-brained hick!

I could of course stop you from writing anything about me--you already have a $100,000 millstone hanging around your neck, plus an arrest warrant and umpteen other issues which will land you in the slammer as sure as eggs are eggs--but I will not. Indeed, I actively ENCOURAGE you to keep this up. Your track record speaks for itself. Since being kicked out of Spencer, Ohio, by your family you have drifted from one hopeless situation to the next. All mouth and no trousers. The only type of people who latch onto you are other losers--sad people like your latest batch who survive on state benefits and hatred, and who have nothing better to do than sit at their computers all day.

You can attack me, with your invented names--the way COWARDS do. I've been doing what I'm doing now for longer than YOU have been alive, successfully so despite what you and your tiny army of rats might think--inasmuch as no one believes that you will ever achieve anything in life because you never have, do you honestly think that publishers would continue plowing money into my projects if they never got any returns? Wake up and smell the coffee, you fat, loathsome bladder of wind and water. I'll still be doing what I'm doing, and doing it with appreciation--when you are pushing up the daisies.

Now, get back to your "writer-actress-publisher-homophobe-racist-anti-Semite" imaginary existence, and if you have a minute--or 1,440 of them as happens with every day of wretched, empty life--waddle along to your new imaginary friends and deliver the latest news in your silly campaign. Oh, and if you DO have a mo, why don't you give Evelyn a tinkle and ask how she's going with her next book--which we have already arranged to have banned! 

As for the other pro-McCann dingbats who will inevitably read this. Here's an offer you cannot refuse. Find me ANY book published by Hala Pickford's 1921 PVG Publishing on sale in ANY store (not the internet) and I will make a substantial donation to the fund. Which means that my money will stay in my pocket, because you will NOT find ANY Pickford book for sale anywhere other than the net.